Full of crazy talk

“I don’t think I’m very good at being left-handed.”

“You’re a soft temperature”

“Wait, you guys don’t stream NASA tv during your day?”

“Is he knitting? That’s bullshit.”

“Nobody owns the Internet like a man owns a wife!”

“when fighting a sniper, shoot him in the face with a knife.”

“Sea otters are so cute! I just want to hug them and squeeze them and maybe eat them a little bit.”

“did you bring me tea like I asked?”
“you didn’t ask for tea?”
“yes I did… very quietly … and in my head.”

“it’s like dunking donuts in nacho cheese, that’s how pregnancy works.”

“I’m sorry, I was thinking about Star Trek again.”